i'm holding my heart out but clutching it too.

today as i was walking to school i started thinking back to the 2 weeks before i came out to europe.  those two weeks brought more stress than finals week, more tears than i ever thought i had in me, and more goodbyes then i ever want to have to say again.  those 2 weeks brought all of this because i was so nervous for everything that was about to happen and, to me, God was flying me business class to one of my worst fears; the unknown.  those 2 weeks were full of anxiety for the trip.  but as soon as i landed and got my first breath of my new chapter, i knew that God was in control, and i really started putting my trust in Him.  having my unforgettable experience in spain, and my comfortable and amazing experience here, so far has completely reminded me of God's wisdom.  it puts me at such an unique peace when i am reminded of this, and it is a reminder that i often need.  it is such a powerful thing to be able to trust God, and these past few weeks have given me so much growth in that area.  it has been so good to see that even in a place that is unfamiliar and new, God is still consistent and present.  

i made psalm 23 my theme for this trip, and once again the beautiful words of david's poetry has been a comfort to me.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of enemies;

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflow.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 

sometimes this place seems like a dream.  like the color of the trees is too green to be real.  and the history of the buildings is too old for me to be walking in them.  and like the fields that never end just don't exist.  but that's when i'm most thankful for it all, and that's when God's creation awes me most.  when i see that nothing, other than a masterful creator, could ever make some place like this, so beautiful.