the english restroom

i would like to take this post to briefly tell you guys about the british "toilets."  (my dad just rolled his eyes haha) that's right toilets.  no where in england will you ever see a sign for the "restroom" or "bathroom", which i myself think is a bit crass that refer to it as this, but then again i think the british start saying the f word when they start to speak.  when you first walk into the toilet (that sounds funny) your hand will immediately reach over to the wall for the light switch. but you will not find one.  what you will find in its place is a long beaded string.  the first time you will nervously pull it hoping that it does not flush the toilet and the person that is outside doesn't think you're unusually fast in the bathroom....toilet. but, as you pull it, you discover it is indeed the light.  you walk to the toilet, and being your sanitary self, reach for the toilet seat cover.  what?! there is none! this must just be a flaw in this one toilet, you think to yourself. but no, it is a flaw of the entire country.  no toilet seat covers ever. anywhere. *sigh* gross.  but, the british do make it up to you by giving you hand cramps from having to hold the flusher (? what is that thing called? you all know what i mean...) down for at least 30 seconds, sometimes more depending on if the person before you flushed or if it is a particularly old bathroom...toilet.  

although these are two downfalls of the british bathroom, you do however, get much more privacy in the personal stalls than in america, where the walls of the stall are so short that even my nine year old mom took advantage of them and peeked over to scare her friend, but found an old woman instead. we've all done it.  the british just out smart our american pranks in this area.

 would you like a paper towel, miss? sorry.  none.  they're with the toilet seat covers.  you'll have to use the extremely high powered air dryer. but don't worry! it will get any raindrops off of any part of your body. you just have to stand there!

if you're using a public bathroom with more than one stall, the occupied signs will instead say "engaged."  for some reason this causes me to have an attitude of  "why yes i would like to wait patiently in line....i mean the queue."  the british have a funny way of being crass and incredibly polite all in one room.